22 Signs That You Have Been Watching A Lot of British Sitcoms

TV

Check this list and see for yourself. So, in no particular order:

22: You caught the gag in this articles title.

21: You put the stapler in the jelly.
20: You don’t mention the war. You mentioned it once but you think you got away with it.

 19: You wonder if you’re more like Mark or Jez.
18: You say “I’m free!” whenever anyone asks if you are doing anything.

17: This time next year, you’ll be a millionaire.

 16: You’re doomed, but you will not panic. If you do, you’re a stupid boy.

 15: You’re able to understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

 14: You don’t have ideas, you have cunning plans.
2 beans + 2 beans = some beans

 13: When leaving with a friend you say “It’s goodbye from me.” and your partner says “And it’s goodbye from him.”

 12: On hearing an innuendo you respond by saying ‘Oo-er missus!”

 11: The first rule of politics is “Never believe anything until it’s been officially denied.”

 10: Clegg, Foggy, and Compo were the only trio that counted.

 9: Instead of saying goodbye you say “Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.”
You wonder where calculators go when they die.

 8: When explaining something you say “Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.”

 7: You think ‘The Good Life’ is too bloody nice!

 6: When someone gets confused about the size of something at a distance, you show them some toy cows and explain the difference between ‘small’ and ‘far away’.

 5: You don’t say “Get Lost” or any more coarse variant. You say “Naff off.”

4: You say “Dirty Old Man” and attempt the impression.

3: You realise Mr Bean is a genius, not an idiot.

2: Instead of greeting people, you tell them “You’re my wife now.”

1: You tell people that you’re “having a bit of trouble” when you’re worried that you might do a ‘woopsie’.


Comprehension questions

  1. What was the gag in the title?

  2. What was put into the jelly?

  3. Do you watch much British comedy?

  4. How many of these references do you understand/recognise?

  5. Are there any that you don’t know but want to find out about?

  6. What do you think of the first rule of politics?

  7. Is Mr Bean a genius?

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